Godly Parents Don’t Always Produce Godly Children
June 12, 2022
Recently I read about a married couple who couldn’t have children. They lived during a time of great upheaval in their country and it felt like their nation had fractured. Weeks turned into months, which turned into years. The barrenness in the wife’s womb made them both feel broken.
One day God made it clear to the wife that she would conceive and give birth to a son. She was thrilled and went into prenatal care mode, being careful to not drink alcohol or eat any food that would be bad for the baby.
It’s likely you don’t know the names of these parents, but you’ve probably heard about their son. His strength was well-known, but his sins led to his downfall. His name was Samson.
Judges 13:1-13 Vs24-25
These parents sensed their son was going to be special so they did everything they could to set him apart for God’s purposes. The wife had been told by an angel that their boy would be a Nazirite, which was someone who took a vow “to be separated for God’s use.” The idea was he would be totally and unreservedly committed to the Lord’s work. He was to never cut his hair, drink no alcohol, and avoid unclean foods. These outward actions were to reflect his inner dedication. The mother was told their son would save the Israelites from the hand of their enemies. (The mother tells the father all these things)
The husband felt overwhelmed and inadequate for the task, and called on the Lord, drawing close to Him. In Vs 8, 12, this dad-to-be prayed, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I beg you to let the man of God you sent to us come again to teach us how to bring up the boy who is to be born.”…Vs12 what is to be the rule that governs the boy’s life and work?”
I see three elements in this prayer that parents can learn from.
- Reverence for God. Listen to how he begins: “Pardon your servant, Lord.” This is an emphatic form of the name Adonai and focuses on God as Master/ruler. Manoah recognizes that God is in charge and he is subject to Him. This is pretty amazing because Judges 13:1 tells us the spiritual climate among the Israelites was not good because they had been subject to the Philistines for 40 years.
- Request for help. We hear the passion behind his plea for help: “I beg you”. He knows he’s in desperate need and without some help, they won’t have a clue how to bring up their boy. Fellow parents, God loves to hear us ask for help in the task of raising young disciples. Manoah’s request is specific and reveals his desire to parent as a partner with his wife: “teach us how to bring up the boy who is to be born.”
- Realignment for focus. Sensing the heavy responsibility for raising their son to be a difference-maker, the dad adds this request in Vs12: What is to be the rule that governs the boy’s life and work?” One of the joys of parenting is helping our children discover how God wants to use the manner of who they are to accomplish God’s mission in this world. This dad wants his son to be who God wants him to be and to do what God wants him to do.
Parents, this is a great way to pray. Start with reverence for God, request His help and realign your focus. Ask God to reveal your child’s unique personality and then guide him or her to find and fulfill his or her purpose in life.
The husband’s request reveals something about the home Samson grew up in. But as we’ll see a Godly home is no guarantee of a Godly life.
Samson’s feats were legendary, but his flaws proved to be fatal. His two greatest weaknesses were romance and revenge. 15) 300 foxes 16) Prostitute 16) Delilah Gouge out his eyes-grind grain in prison-bring him out to entertain them
Sampson was extremely gifted, but certainly, some of his actions were not Godly. He was strong on the outside but had no control on the inside. He’s an example that GODLY PARENTS DON’T ALWAYS PRODUCE GODLY CHILDREN.
These good and Godly parents, who prayed passionately and tried to do everything right, could only watch and worry as their son stumbled spiritually.
Some parents have persistent pain and hurting hearts as you wonder where your child’s wandering heart is right now. While you know you’ve not been a perfect parent (who is?), you don’t understand why your child is doing what he or she is doing. Parents, while it is imperative to pass along the faith we possess to our children; we are not ultimately responsible for how they turn out because: There comes a day when they are responsible for their own decisions.
Samson’s parents prayed for him, taught him the Torah, impressed the truth on him, lived a godly life before him, and tried to pass along the faith they possessed. And yet, Samson went his own way, just like many do today.
Children have their own will. Some of you are beating yourself up for the choices your children are making. Joshua 24:15 reminds us it’s a choice to serve the Lord. Ezekiel 18:20 tells us parents don’t bear the guilt of the child’s sin: “The child will not share the guilt of the parent, nor will the parent share the guilt of the child. The righteousness of the righteous will be credited to them, and the wickedness of the wicked will be charged against them.”
This is so hard to remember but your child’s failures are not your failures. Every child is made in the image of God and each child is responsible before God.
Think about this: Even if you were an absolutely perfect parent and you provided a totally perfect environment in which your children could grow and develop, they still may choose to go a different direction than you desire.
Do you need some evidence for this? Let’s go back to the beginning and think about the first two children, Adam and Eve. God was a perfect parent and placed them in a perfect environment and gave them perfect guidance and they still went south spiritually.
One of the less acknowledged strains of legalism in the church today is the false hope of “DETERMINISTIC PARENTING,” which assumes parents’ faithfulness determines the spiritual health of their kids:
“Such legalism is in confidence that God rewards faithful parents with obedient, converted children and does so proportionately to what we deserve…If the gospel of determinism is true, a wayward child reveals parental failure. If a child is spinning out of control,(prodigal) parents are just reaping what they’ve sowed…
Parents, please don’t take that guilt and shame upon yourselves because GODLY PARENTS DON’T ALWAYS PRODUCE GODLY CHILDREN. Instead, give it all to Jesus. Let Him suffocate your guilt and shame. Claim the truth of Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.
The meaning of the word “prodigal” is “a person who has spent his resources wastefully.” (LUKE 15) Sampson is an example of a prodigal son in the Old Testament.
Waiting, and wondering about a child is hard but don’t give up hope for your prodigal. Keep praying and keep believing. Your son or daughter may be running from God, but according to Psalm 23:6, God’s “mercy and goodness” are chasing after him or her.
God knows exactly where they are and what they are doing at this very moment. Remember nothing is too hard for Him. Don’t lose hope. Even though your children aren’t serving the Lord right now, that doesn’t mean they can’t change later. Samson came back to the Lord right before he died. When he reached rock bottom, he turned around and discovered that God was waiting for him all the time.
Mom & Dad, it’s not healthy to dwell on mistakes or to continually wonder, “Why did this happen to us?” It’s better to ask, “Where do we go from here? What can be done now?”
- Love them faithfully. 2. Pray for them continually
- Accept them unconditionally.
This leads to a couple of questions, doesn’t it? How can we accept our son or daughter without lowering our standards? How can I accept my child when I don’t approve of what he or she is doing? Stay with me on this.
There’s a big difference between acceptance and approval. Acceptance says, “I love you, child, because you’re my child. God made you and I love you, but I do not approve of what you’re doing.” You can accept a child without approving of their lifestyle.
GOD ACCEPTS/NOT APPROVES
Listen. You can do everything right and your child could still walk away from the faith. GODLY PARENTS DON’T ALWAYS PRODUCE GODLY CHILDREN. You can also do everything wrong, and your child could walk with Jesus for a lifetime.
I’d like to speak to the prodigal right now. Maybe you’re the prodigal child. What shape is your relationship with God? Are you rebelling against God? Have you lost your way? Have you succumbed to the world and its way of thinking?
If you’re rebelling, are you ready to take responsibility for the sinful situation you are in? If you’re feeling the conviction of the Holy Spirit, will you take the next step and repent of your sins?
Because TODAY IS A GREAT DAY TO RISE AND RETURN.
You can do that right now. When you do, you will be restored and all of heaven will break out with rejoicing. Listen to Luke 15:10: “I tell you, there is joy before the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
The Father is ready to restore your relationship with Him! Some people think they’ve been away so long that it will take years to get back. Actually, all it takes is to turn to Him in repentance and you’re back!
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